Latter-day Prophets on Parenting

“There is no discipline in all the world like the discipline of love. It has a magic all its own” (Hinckley, 1985). 

One of the most wonderful blessings of the Gospel is its consistency. I have noticed at least four underlying themes whenever the brethren talk about our roles as parents. First, put away your pride; second, act with love and kindness; third, do not use anger, abuse, or punishment; and fourth, teach Gospel principles in your home. 

Put Away Your Pride

We are not better than our children. President Gordon B. Hinckley taught, “Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones” (Hinckley, 1996). Pride is a huge barrier in any relationship, but it can destroy and break children. If we have lost our temper with our child, we need to apologize and ask for their forgiveness. 

Act with Love and Kindness

President Brigham Young taught, “Kind looks, kind actions, kind words, and a lovely, holy deportment towards them will bind our children to us with bands that cannot easily be broken” (Young, 1864). I know that parents get angry, but we will be blessed if we use more patience and long-suffering, and less harshness.

Do Not Use Anger, Abuse, or Punishment

Way back in 1978, President Gordon B. Hinckley, gave an address in which he talked about the father of one of his childhood friends. This man contrasted greatly with President Hinckley’s own father. Where Brother Hinckley treated his children with love and respect, the neighbor verbally and physically abused his offspring. He explains, “I have seen the fruits of that neighbor’s temper come alive again in the troubled lives of his children. I have since discovered that he was one of that very substantial body of parents who seem incapable of anything but harshness toward those for whose coming into the world they are responsible… Of course, there is need for discipline with families. But discipline with severity, discipline with cruelty, inevitably leads not to correction, but rather to resentment and bitterness. It cures nothing and only aggravates the problem. It is self-defeating.” (Hinckley, 1978). And President David O. McKay taught, “Never must there be expressed in a Latter-day Saint home an oath, a condemnatory term, an expression of anger or jealousy or hatred. Control it! Do not express it!” (McKay, 1963). 

Teach Gospel Principles in Your Home

I love this message from President Nelson, “As we go through life, even through very rough waters, a father’s instinctive impulse to cling tightly to his wife or to his children may not be the best way to accomplish his objective. Instead, if he will lovingly cling to the Savior and the iron rod of the gospel, his family will want to cling to him and to the Savior” (Nelson, 2001). President Joseph F. Smith taught, “We are a Christian people, we believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and we feel that it is our duty to acknowledge him as our Savior and Redeemer. Teach it to your children. Teach them that the Prophet Joseph Smith had restored to him the Priesthood that was held by Peter and James and John, who were ordained under the hands of the Savior himself. Teach them that Joseph Smith, the prophet, when only a boy, was chosen and called of God to lay the foundations of the Church of Christ in the world, to restore the holy Priesthood, and the ordinances of the gospel, which are necessary to qualify men to enter into the kingdom of heaven” (Smith, 1939)

References

Hinckley, G. B. (1978, October). “Behold Your Little Ones.” Www.churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1978/10/behold-your-little-ones?lang=eng

Hinckley, G. B. (1985, June). The Environment of Our Homes. Www.churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1985/06/the-environment-of-our-homes?lang=eng

Hinckley, G. B. (1996, November). Excerpts from Recent Addresses of President Gordon B. Hinckley. Www.churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1997/07/excerpts-from-recent-addresses-of-president-gordon-b-hinckley?lang=eng

McKay, D. O. (1963, April). Teachings of Presidents of the Church: David O. McKay, Chapter 24: “Let Your Light So Shine.” Www.churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/teachings-david-o-mckay/chapter-24?lang=eng

Nelson, R. M. (2001, October). “Set in Order Thy House.” Www.churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2001/10/set-in-order-thy-house?lang=eng

Smith, J. F. (1939). Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith, Chapter 33: Children: The Richest of All Earthly Joys. Churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/teachings-joseph-f-smith/chapter-33?lang=eng

Young, B. (1864, December 7). Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Chapter 46: Parental Responsibility. Www.churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng