Latter-day Parenting Messages

Whether an individual is male or female, young or old, it’s natural to have emotions. Children sometimes need assistance navigating and expressing their feelings. That’s where we as parents come in, to help them learn coping skills and emotional resilience. Instead of sending a child to their room until they stop crying, we can use empathy and understanding to help them realize deeper issues.  In a February 2011 Ensign article, Licensed Clinical Social Worker Shawn Evans explains how parents can help their children feel safe and cope during difficult times ( Evans, 2011 ). Evans references Dr. John Gottman’s research in the area of raising an emotionally resilient child, which can be found here . Evans explains that parents can best support their individual children by knowing how to nurture them. For instance, they can teach their children, especially when they are little, expressive words to describe the emotions they may be feeling. Including words like angry, sad, scared, disco...

Sometimes as parents we believe we are motivating our children to succeed, but in reality, we are pushing them further from their goals. In the January 2020 Ensign, Dr. Wendy Ulrich explains that in the long run, internal rewards, including learning, trying new things, and solving problems are the most motivating for children. Concerning external benefits, Dr. Ulrich concludes, “ when overdone, rewards can actually undermine motivation. People who already enjoy a task will often do it less, not more, if they are paid for doing it ” ( Ulrich, 2020 ).  In their article, Helping Children and Youth Develop a Growth Mindset, Doty & Peterson (2022) illustrate that improvement comes through work, trials, and making mistakes. Proving once again that intrinsic motivation is the key to success.  Ulrich & Burrup (2019) give parents eight tips on how to help build a child’s resilience: Model good coping skills Praise effort, not just success Praise more than you correct Teach th...

“ There is no discipline in all the world like the discipline of love. It has a magic all its own ” ( Hinckley, 1985 ).  One of the most wonderful blessings of the Gospel is its consistency. I have noticed at least four underlying themes whenever the brethren talk about our roles as parents. First, put away your pride; second, act with love and kindness; third, do not use anger, abuse, or punishment; and fourth, teach Gospel principles in your home.  Put Away Your Pride We are not better than our children. President Gordon B. Hinckley taught, “ Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones ” ( Hinckley, 1996 ). Pride is a huge barrier in any relationship, but it can destroy and break children. If we have lost our temper with our child, we need to apologize and ask for t...