Children aren't Robots

Whether an individual is male or female, young or old, it’s natural to have emotions. Children sometimes need assistance navigating and expressing their feelings. That’s where we as parents come in, to help them learn coping skills and emotional resilience. Instead of sending a child to their room until they stop crying, we can use empathy and understanding to help them realize deeper issues. 

In a February 2011 Ensign article, Licensed Clinical Social Worker Shawn Evans explains how parents can help their children feel safe and cope during difficult times (Evans, 2011). Evans references Dr. John Gottman’s research in the area of raising an emotionally resilient child, which can be found here. Evans explains that parents can best support their individual children by knowing how to nurture them. For instance, they can teach their children, especially when they are little, expressive words to describe the emotions they may be feeling. Including words like angry, sad, scared, discouraged, anxious, and nervous. Finally, Evans stresses the importance of using the following techniques:

  1. Listen with Empathy
  2. Help Children Process Feelings
  3. Respond with Faith

Further information can be found here.

In the December 2020 Liahona, Clinical Mental Health Counselor Sheldon Martin suggests Six Ways to Help a Child with Anxiety (Martin, 2020). I will include the list and the details can be found here.

1. Allow your child to worry.
2. Have a discussion with your child rather than lecture.
3. Provide your child with tools.

  • Use “Facing Challenges: A Self-Help Guide” to build more strategies.
  • Practice deep breathing.
  •         Squeeze a stress ball.
  •         Write feelings down.
  •         Talk back to the worries and reframe them.
  •         Get help from a friend.
4. Teach your child to practice self-care.
  • Get enough sleep consistently.
  •         Eat healthy meals.
  •         Drink plenty of water.
  •         Schedule downtime to decompress.
  •         Get outdoor free play.
  •         Exercise daily.
5. Empathize often with your child.
6. Recognize the difference between perfectionism and wanting to be worthy.

Here are two other wonderful references on the topic of children and emotional resilience:



References

      Evans, S. (2011, February). Helping Children Feel Safe. Www.churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2011/02/helping-children-feel-safe?lang=eng

        Martin, S. (2020, December). 6 Ways to Help a Child with Anxiety. Www.churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2020/12/6-ways-to-help-a-child-with-anxiety?lang=eng


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